Chasing Bunnies

How do you start off your mornings? 

I normally start my mornings off by waking up our youngest daugther to get ready for school, then proceed to check on our bunnies, fix her lunch, send her off and go on with my day. Today was not that way, by any stretch of the imagination. 

Let me set up the scenario. Currently we have 13, yes I said 13, bunnies. We have the mom and dad, along with 4 bunnies from her second litter and 7 from her current litter. We have not intentionally kept the 4 older ones. We had a plan for them and it fell through. 

Anyway, 8 of the bunnies are right outside of our daughters room and 4 are outside in the garage. I always make sure the ones by her room have food and water then proceed to check on the 4 in the garage. Well, I keep the garage door open a little so that air will flow through. This morning when I went to check on them, I noticed that one of the doors on the cage was off and there was only 1 left in the cage. Let me tell ya, if you want to trigger a kiddo that loves her bunnies, let her know that 3 of them have escaped just before you have to send her to school. I looked around in the garage to see if they were still inside, of course they weren’t. I saw something move outside the garage. It was one of the bunnies. I was able to catch that one with ease. The other 2, not so much. They gave me a run for my money! It’s not so awesome to chase them around the yard. At least they were decent enough to stay close to the house. I did finally catch all of them, safe and sound. 

I say all of this to say that sometimes life is not what we plan. I had planned to spend my morning calmly checking on our sweet bunnies, not knowing that I would wake up and find 3 of them missing. Life always throws us for a loop. We can have our day planned out, everything in order, and then it can turn to chaos quickly.

I would say that my perfect plan in life is to start my morning by getting up before everyone in the house, do my devotional while drinking my coffee, then go onto wake up the house and get everyone out the door. I have only been able to accomplish this maybe 2 times. However, just because I have not been able to accomplish this, doesn’t mean that my life is falling apart. I simply have to adapt and modify, that is a whole other story.

Adapt and modify, it sounds so simple. It used to be simple for me. Over the couse of the last few years, it has been anything but simple. I used to be a fly by the seat of the pants kind of person. One that could work under the pressure of plans being changed at the last moment. But then things changed. I hit a place in my life where I expected things to be one way and then there was a quick change that I hadn’t planned on. I found myself feeling left out and unwanted, hurt and frazzled. I found myself in tears most of the time. Then it went from tears to extreme anger, sometimes even rage. When it first started happening I was shocked. That’s not me. Where the heck did that come from? As time went on, I found myself getting worse and worse. My tears never stopped. My fits of anger and rage came out more and more. I started having suicidal thoughts. I sank deeper and deeper. I began to live into the lies that satan was telling me (people would be better off if I weren’t here, your family doesn’t need you, you don’t have a voice anyway so why be here, no one loves you and the ones that do have already died, so just join them).

I finally went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was put on medication to help with the symptoms but they didn’t help with the root of the problem. With the help of medication, essential oils and the counsel of some wise people, I have been able to get to the root of the problem and start to work on my total healing. 

My tears are not as frequent, my fits of rage and anger are few and far between. My battle with my mind is constant but I am winning more and more. God has done a major work in my life and if it weren’t for Him, I would not be sitting here typing this blog. He ministered to me through the prayers of others, through the tears and hugs of those that love me most, through the worship music that I listened to and through His Word. 

We have a choice in life. We can choose to be free from the junk that weighs us down, or we can let it hold us down until we drown from it. We can choose to listen to crap music or we can listen to music that lifts us up and allows us to worship the one true God. We can dwell on the lies being fed to us or we can fight to hear God through the noise and believe who we are in Him. We can choose to focus on us or we can choose to focus on Christ. We can choose to chase after God, like I chased after those crazy bunnies, or we can  choose to live into the lies that satan is telling us. Keep in mind that satan is a defeated foe that wants us to lived defeated as well. 

Jeremiah 29:13 states “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart”. I choose to chase after God with all of my heart and allow Him to do His mighty work in and through me rather than living into the lies. I choose to wake up everyday expecting to hear from Him. I choose to focus on who He is rather than who I am.