Fear

How many of you have been fearful? 

If you are anything like me, you have been fearful at some point in time. You’re afraid of losing a loved one, or a pet. You’re afraid of something happening to you. You’re afraid of losing your job, of being alone, of not being liked/loved, of people turning on you. Maybe, much like me, you live in fear of simply living life.

I have been fearful so many times in life. When I was young, I was afraid of losing everyone in my life to death. Where did this fear stem from? It came from the death of my mom at a young age. I was afraid of being abused when I got older. Where did that fear stem from? It came from the abuse I suffered. I was afraid of never finding a husband. Where did that fear come from? It came from the fact that I was overweight and not pretty. It was enforced when guys in high school didn’t have any interest in me. I was afraid of never being a mom because of a decision I made when I was 19. I was afraid of being abandoned. Where did this come from? It came from being abandoned numerous times, by friends, by my husband, by my kids, by people in the church. I have been afraid to have people in my home. Where did this fear come from? It came from an incident that happened in my home. I am currently struggling with the fear that I will respond to a situation in anger. Why? Because my anxiety presents in extreme anger. 

These are just a few fears that I have crept into my life. They have all been paralyzing. They caused me to not live life to the fullest because I went into protection mode. I threw up walls to keep me from getting hurt that way again. I wouldn’t talk to people about these things because of the fear of being judged. I hardened my heart to people so that I couldn’t be hurt the same way again. I closed off my home to people to coming into it so I wouldn’t have to be on guard. 

Are we supposed to live a life of fear? Or are we to live a life fearlessly? Do we need to harden our hearts or build up walls? Or are we to keep our hearts softened and simply build a fence (a fence you can see through and people can still see in but allows us to keep people out of our “yard” who shouldn’t be there)? 

2 Timothy 1:7 says that we were not given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. 

Power, love, and self-control.

Power – We have the power to choose if we live a life of fear or to live the life God called us to. We have the power to choose love or hate. We have the power to build a wall around our hearts or simply build a fence.

Love – Love is an amazing thing. Merriam-Webster has 4 different definitions of love. Here is what the 4^thdefinition is:  

Unselfish loyal and benevolent (see benevolent 1a) concern for the good of another: such as  

(1):the fatherly concern of God for humankind  

(2):brotherly concern for others 

B:a person’s adoration of God.

For those of us who have experienced God’s love, we can love those around us. We have to remember this type of love, not the way that the world defines love.

Self-control – The hardest thing to do is exercise self-control. We have to control our responses and ourselves in order to live the life we are called to. If we have no self-control, we will give into every whim we feel like. Why do affairs happen? Lack of self-control. Why do people murder? Lack of self-control. 

Choose this day to live a life of power, love, and self-control. One that is good and pleasing to the Lord. A life that is worth imitating. 

While I still struggle with fear, I am seeing little glimpses of hope and healing in the midst of it. We are all human; yes even the pastor and his entire family, and every human struggles with fear of something. How we respond and react to that fear is the most important thing. We can choose to work through and overcome it or we can allow it to paralyze us. 

Choose wisely!