Stop Complaining

I have been reading and rereading a few books of the Bible over the last several months preparing for something coming up. One of the books has been 1 Peter. It has spoken to me on many levels and always has. One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 3:15 which states “but honor the Messiah as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you” (HCSB). Anyone who knows me knows that I love to hear people’s stories. I love to know about their lives. I also love to share about my life with others, as God has allowed me to be bold and share about where He has brought me from and where He has called me to. I don’t want to share my story in a bragging way. I want to share the hope that I have in my life with those around me so that they may have that hope as well.

That is not the only verse that God has used out of 1 Peter this go round. There is another verse in the book that smacked me in the face, hard. You see, I have been dealing with a hard heart. One that is the result of hurts, and frustrations, and sadness. Something that has come out of that hard heart is a complaining spirit. You know what I’m talking about. I don’t complain about people, I complain about how they treat my family, the lack of respect, the lack of love, the lack of you name it. In reading through 1 Peter 4, I came upon verses 8 and 9, which read “Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining” (HCSB). I had to reread these particular verses over and over.

What do you mean I have to love them?

And what do you mean that I have to be hospitable to them without complaining?

Why do I have to love even when I’m not loved?

Why do I have to show them respect when they don’t show it to my family?

Why do I have to treat them well even though they don’t treat my family well?

These were the questions that immediately came to mind when I got to these verses. I don’t feel like loving them. I don’t feel like respecting them. I don’t feel like treating them well. I don’t feel like being hospitable without complaining.

You all know what I’m talking about. Don’t say you don’t. We’re all human, even pastor’s wives.

Does verse 9 mean that I must be a doormat for those that don’t treat me well? Does it mean that I must “suck it up buttercup”? No, it isn’t saying that. It is saying that when we have experienced the love of Christ that we should be able to love others as Christ loved us. It is saying that should be able to forgive people for their shortcomings and that we need to not complain about the way they are treating us.

What does complaining get us? Nothing, it gets us a big, fat, nothing! Does it lift up the body? No. Does it encourage others? Heck no. Does it show respect for the other party? Absolutely not. If we are truly honest it doesn’t make us feel better. It only emphasizes the negative in people and not the good. It allows us become negative people, with hard hearts that are no fun to be around.

The season of life we are in with the church and with our family is an extremely rough one. No worries, Larry and I are doing great! However, our kids are going through all kinds of different things. They are all in rough spots, only one is in a rougher spot than the others. They are all requiring prayer but instead are getting gossiped about. The church is in a really weird spot but hopefully that will be changing soon. However, it is hard to not complain about the junk going on in life. It’s hard to not complain when your children are being talked about instead of loved. It’s hard to not complain when life is tough, and things aren’t the way they should be.

Yes, I have been complaining and even whining! Yes, I have felt that it is justified. No, that doesn’t make me right!

I was at a National Pregnancy Center Conference this past weekend in Columbus, Georgia. It was so encouraging and uplifting! I loved the teaching a lot! The heart of the pastor leading the conference was AMAZING! The teaching may have been for us that work at pregnancy centers, but it spoke to my heart as a pastor’s wife on a much deeper level.

Pastor Andy Merritt at Edgehill Baptist Church in Columbus, Georgia took us through a series of messages titled “Advancing Through the Storm”. Throughout the entire event, he gave us tools to use in our ministry, words from God that we can cling to, and talked about 6 different people from the Bible and how they were able to advance God’s kingdom through the storms they were faced with. He started out with Joseph, moved on to David, followed by Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Daniel, and finished up with Paul.

But that’s not what stood out to me. What stood out to me was how God was working on my heart in the midst of the conference. Like I said earlier, 1 Peter 4:8-9 jumped off of the page at me as I was reading it. Being told to “be hospitable to one another without complaining” stings a little. I mean who hasn’t complained. Then to come to the conference and to be told to “stop whining and start shining” on day one was like God saying “ok are you ready to listen to me now?” As if that wasn’t enough, on the final day of the conference Pastor Andy pulls out “stop complaining, start celebrating”. It was like God walked up behind me and smacked me on the back of the head and said “got it now?” I had to say yes, yes, I got you, I totally understand.

God has told me to stop complaining. Loud and clear. 3 times.

So, in the midst of this, I have decided that I will do as He has told me and stop complaining. I know that it will be hard but I’m gonna do my best to obey Him. If I cross your mind, please pray for me. If you want to ask me how it is going, please ask. If you feel like this is something that God has asked you to give up as well, please share it with me. If you need prayer for the same thing, please let me know.